Inside Track: From the awful to the not so bad

There was no getting out of it – all I could do was grin and bear it as England went about what was supposed to be a glorified walk-over in their World Cup qualifier with Andorra.

I was in a friend’s house. He was keen to see the match, and it would have been bad manners to make my excuses and leave, or even ask for a change of channels. The tea and biscuits were nice.

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The only time the remote was pressed into service was at half-time. And what came up only a ladies rugby game, England playing Australia in this one.

Now, I have nothing against soccer or rugby, played by boys or girls, men or women; but having by this stage seen enough of white jerseys with three lions on them, the wearers doing nothing to justify the hype surrounding them, the last thing I wanted to see was their sisters in action. It was only for about ten minutes, thankfully.

When the England footballers went one up and after that looked for a long time as if they weren’t going to add to it, I conjured up a question, thinking I could perhaps ask it at a quiz some night. When did England fail to score and still win the game?

It would have been this one, because the goal that gave England the lead came from the head of an Andorra defender. (Just thinking, I’d hardly get away with it if there was a seasoned quiz buff in the crowd.)

When England eventually went further in front, it was an Irishman who scored. Declan Rice’s effort wasn’t the best he ever scored, nor did it put and sort of a shine on his team’s performance, or lift my gloom.

I wasn’t on my own. The crowd’s reaction at Villa Park was one of near silence throughout. Probably the biggest cheer of the afternoon came when an Aston Villa player was sprung from the bench.

After the first goal, the commentator hinted at the floodgates opening. They didn’t, despite almost the entire game being played in the Andorra half of the field.

That should have been enough to put televised soccer out of my head for the day. But, wait, it would be unpatriotic of me not to take in the Republic of Ireland’s game in the same competition later in the evening, especially as I’d spent nearly two hours watching the auld enemy.

It was worthwhile. The noise from the Aviva stands was continuous in the second half as Hallgrimsson’s side attempted to dismantle the 2-goal lead Hungary had built so early in the game, there were seats still to be filled. They succeeded, a draw as much as could have been expected against a team of Hungary’s strength.

This was exciting stuff, if not of World Cup winning standard. Ireland’s task was made that wee bit easier by, let’s just say, ruthlessly rugged Hungary having a player sent off. Still, there was a mountain of work to be done.

And it was, goals from Ferguson and, in time added on, Idah, bringing the sides level. At the other end, Caoimhín Kelleher was brilliant, saving everything thrown at him after he’d conceded twice in the first 15 minutes.

England, of course, got full points for their lukewarm effort, and are odds on to go through from the 5-team Group K. They play second-placed Serbia away this evening.

Ireland are in action at the same time, travelling to play Armenia, who took a 5-0 hammering from Ronaldo’s Portugal on Saturday. There’s a lot of football to be played in Group F between now and the last series of matches, in mid-November.