Dundalk psychotherapist: We need to try to learn to live with the unknown

As people endure another lockdown many will face challenges with their mental health as anxiety and stress are increased by the pandemic.

Covid-19 is a physical illness, but it can also affect people’s mental health with many struggling to cope with isolation, loneliness, fear, loss and financial worries as we undergo another six-week Level 5 lockdown.

As we face a second lockdown with long, dark evening and cold weather adding to the challenge of maintaining positive mental health two local experts give tips on how to cope with the current restrictions.

Psychotherapist Fergal Brady of Counselling Connections on Seatown Place in town advices people to try to learn to live with the unknown and take each day as it comes.

While Clinical Manager with Dundalk Counselling Centre Elizabeth McGuckin said the golden rules for coping with the second lockdown is getting enough sleep, eating healthily, exercise and keeping some form of contact with family and friends.

Fergal, who is also the President of the Irish Psycho-Analytical Association, said: “This current lockdown is extremely different for people than the last one.

“The first one at the beginning of March had a sort of holiday atmosphere and people were happy to embrace staying at home.

“The Government’s message was clear, and we felt like we were all in this together and seduced into thinking that everything would be fine by September.

“It has now dawned on us that this pandemic is here, and it is not a short-term situation and it is impacting on our day to day lives, and people are fed up.

“The ordinary things in life have been taken away – the marker that it is the weekend by socialising with friends is gone, we can no longer take part in social activities, meeting people, browsing shops.

“I think this time there is also the definite feeling of inequality.

“The message before was very much we are all in this together, but we are not all in this together, different sectors of society have been impacted differently.

“If you look at the hospitality industry there are people in town and across the country who have been laid off since March and only had two weeks work before pubs were closed again.

“There are people who have been on unemployment payments for that whole time, and they are fed up and stressed.

“There is a very high level of anxiety.

“We are social animals, and the fabric of society has been rattled and there are unknown consequences which causes real fear.

“The pandemic is going on longer than we would like, but we have to remember it is temporary, a treatment to deal with this virus will come and hopefully it won’t be too long.”

Fergal advices people to try to take every day as it comes and to go back to basics and appreciate the simple things such as shelter and food.

“We have to get used to living with inconsistency and the unknown – learn to live with not knowing”, he said.

“To survive the pandemic we have to take one day at a time and live without knowing what the future holds and deal with today.

“This is difficult to do but it can be learnt.

“We also have to dial it right back and keep it simple, just concentrate on getting back to the basics.

“Look at what you have, I have somewhere to lay my head tonight, I have a bowl of porridge for breakfast, I can feed myself.

“I have loved ones and family that I can speak to, be that on the phone, WhatsApp or Zoom.

“People during the first lockdown were doing zoom quizzes and chats and it is important during this second lockdown that people continue to communicate, we need interaction, especially people living on their own that feel isolated.

“Also, ask yourself how do I want to look back on myself during this pandemic and restrictions, how did I cope in this time of crisis and how did I behave.

“Do your best to rise above some conflicts.

“It is a very difficult time, but aim high, be generous and not allow yourself to get angry.

“Don’t let social media affect you.

“Make the decisions that I am going to wave at my neighbours, I am going to keep in touch with loved ones.

“I know the evenings are long, dark and cold but I am going to exercise – wrap up and get out and get walking, running or cycling.

“Try to not give into the grim feeling about what has been taken away from us and find what is available to us, what we can do.”

He also urged people to not allow themselves to be bombarded by unreliable messages about the pandemic on social media.

Fergal said: “A lot of clients I have spoken to have issues with social media and reading things about the pandemic on social media sites.

“The controversial and even hysterical messages being put online about the pandemic is going to get the most clicks.

“Peoples’ energy is attracted to this rather than the considered information.

“I would encourage people to not get their information from controversial and hysterical sources online.”

Fergal said that during the lockdowns he has moved his therapy consultations on to online platforms and over the phone to ensure his clients are getting the support they need during the pandemic.

“If asked before these lockdowns to try to give therapy to people over Zoom, WhatsApp and over the phone I would have said it won’t work, but we have had to make it work and it has worked remarkably well.”

Fergal said that when this pandemic is over the real effect it had on people’s mental health will be realised and said it will be important to remember all the losses people went through during this difficult time.

“When this is all over we will then really be aware of how this affected peoples' mental health and the level of loss they went through”, he said.

“People who lost loved ones who couldn’t go to their funerals and grieve them the way they normally would.

“Families who lost loved ones in nursing homes and the trauma of not being able to see them to say goodbye.

“Kids in secondary school who didn’t get to experience the usual landmarks such as the Leaving Cert, their debs and college students who missed out on the milestone of starting college and meeting new people and making life-long friends that way we normally would.

“Locally and nationally, when this is all over, we need to pause and remember all the various different losses people went through and take time to appreciate all these things when we have them.”

Elizabeth McGuckin, manager Dundalk Counselling Centre on Seatown Place, said that stress and Anxiety are normal responses to situations that we cannot understand or situations that we have very little control over.

Elizabeth said: “The pandemic is a global challenge, and as individuals, we have very little control over it.

“We are collectively experiencing and living in a time where our freedom of choice has been restricted or taken away.

“On an individual level it has the ability to induce some big emotions, some that are recognisable to us and some that are more extreme and unrecognisable to us.

“However, on an individual level we can make definitive choices to how we respond to the situation we find ourselves in.

“Although a collective experience, each individual will respond to or experience a different symptom to the situation we are in due to Covid-19.”

She said that is important for people to keep things simple as they face the challenges of living in another lockdown.

“to understand what your triggers are and explore new ways or tried and tested ways of providing self-support.

“The basics are always the best: Good sleep hygiene – try and get a good night’s sleep.

“Get into a routine but be adaptable.

“Eight hours of sleep make the other sixteen easier.

“Healthy eating habits – try and eat regularly and try to make good nutritious meals, try new ingredients, explore new cooking ideas or menus.

“Regular Exercise – do some regular simple exercises, even housework can be carried out as vigorous as possible to give you a good workout.

“And Contact – Check in with someone, face to face is not always going to be possible during stricter regulations such as Level 5, but we can make a call, a facetime and WhatsApp.

“The most helpful behaviour is to try and keep things as simple as possible.

“Accept the situation we are in.

“Keep to a routine.

“Practice self-compassion – Be Kind to yourself and others – remember we are all in this together – at one level or another we are all facing some sort of personal challenge due to Covid-19.”

Elizabeth also suggested that people make use of free talks and courses online which can “act as a distraction, keeping your mind busy rather than focusing on the difficulties of Covid-19”. She continued: “Read a book, wrap up well and get out in the elements, go for a short walk, listen to nature.

“Little things can improve how we feel about things if we can take the time to look, listen and breath!”

Elizabeth also urged people to avoid information overload which can contribute to our anxiety and make us feel overwhelmed.

“Try to keep news reports and updates about Covid-19 to a minimum, you can do this by restricting your time on Social Media or viewing news updates.”

And for people working remotely she said it is “really important to set good boundaries - take regular breaks and stop working at your usual finishing time”.

“If possible, try to create a clear space in your house that your work doesn’t infiltrate”, she added.

And finally she said to try and follow the Golden Rules: Practice good basic self-care habits; Sleeping, Eating, Exercising & keep some form of contact with family and friends.