Honest to goodness; being honest really is the best policy

Lisa Casey writes about honesty in her column this week

Lisa Casey


Lisa Casey


Honest to goodness; being honest really is the best policy

Lisa Casey at Arcadian Field

Kids see the world in a different way than we do, we seem to think that we need to teach them.

Well, this is true: we do need to let them know that a road with oncoming traffic is not the best place to try out the lights on their new shoes. (Who has lights in their shoes anymore? I’m out of touch with the kids, perhaps I shouldn’t have chosen this topic.) 

Anyways, I definitely seem to think that I know more than kids do. And actually I do - I know more crap. They’re more pure, more honest and openly curious, this is much more healthy than me storing all my crazy thoughts in my brain to fester. Things are always better out in the open where they can breathe.  

I feel that I can learn from them. If everything was always out in the open everyone would feel more comfortable. I know I would. I mean if murderers just shouted out: 'I wanna kill somebody from the rooftops', well I would definitely avoid that person.


What about insults? Well, I don’t know. I’m not sure if I want to be told I’ve gained a few pounds but I’d certainly want to be told if I had an eighth of a sandwich stuck in my hair. Or a large booger on my nose.

Maybe it could work if we had the brutal honesty of 5-year-olds with the voice tone of Bob Ross.

Apparently, good communication is also the foundation of a healthy relationship. I’m currently in a relationship. I’m normally crap at them, but this time I’m keeping my awareness up in regards to honesty.

It can be the little things that get me, like saying that I’d rather sit in than go out, or I’d rather watch a horror film than a comedy or eve just omitting to say something.

Like saying I need someone to talk to or even just a hug, rather than shrugging angrily and hoping that he’ll guess that I need a bit of comfort.

I suppose there are different reasons why I’m dishonest, a big one for me would be that I tend to think I know what his reaction will be.

I tend to assume that he will be angry if I express my preference, and this isn’t good, I’m not a mind reader. I’m good at sensing when someone isn’t feeling themselves even subtly, but I certainly can’t get into their brain and well, if we where all honest I wouldn’t have to. No more omitting remember!

So I’ve started saying what I want more, and guess what, he’s usually really happy to go along with what I want and we’re both happy. I’m a fussy person, who doesn’t allow themselves to be fussy. I say if you’re fussy, be fussy! It’s honest.

Some people are going to be happy to just be spending time with you. There's no need to abandon what you want because your poor mind-reading skills call for it.

This guessing thing is usually a type of protection, for me. I was used to people being angry if I expressed my want for something so I assume everyone will react like this, but it’s not true!

So I’ll continue to try my best to be honest and authentic and see where it gets me, so far it’s been working out very well. And I haven’t gotten in trouble and being put in the bold corner yet. Being honest is great, honestly!

Lisa Casey is a Dundalk-based comedian. She was named as the Comedian of the Year at the Vodafone Comedy Carnival in Galway in 2017 and regularly performs comedy sets in venues across Ireland.