Halloween outfit special
Dear Gary, my girlfriend bought a really provocative dress for Halloween. The thing is, she is already a big flirt on nights out, so I am afraid that this dress will send her over the edge.
I do not want to be standing there whilst she flirts with the whole room in front of me. What should I do?
Jason, 23
Dear Jason, what you should do is dress up as a man for Halloween because it is the only time that you will ever be one. I have never heard such spineless behaviour in all my life.
Man up for goodness sake. Jason, what you also could also do is make her think twice about this. Now I am not promoting violence or anything, but if you dress up as say, OJ Simpson or Hannibal, then she might think twice about wearing her racy number as the seeds of doubt will be planted in her mind.
However, I think that is the more extreme way to go. I suggest you be a man about this and think it through. If she is flirting with the entire room, give her a taste of her own medicine.
I'm not suggesting you flirt, because you will probably fail miserably due to your inadequacies, so I suggest you find the drunkest girl there and just cheat on your woman.
Think about it, she is probably going to do it on you because you are such a wimp, so technically if you cheat on her first, you get the bragging rights and you never know, she might actually find a new found respect for you. Problem solved.
Dear Gary, this year I was going to dress up as a nurse but my friend stole the idea from me and now she is going as one. I am absolutely furious as it was my idea. What should I do?
Jessica, 21.
Dear Jessica, what I suggest you do is buy a full size babygrow and go as a child because you are not far off the mentality of one. As for your idea, to be brutally honest – and I like honesty – your idea sucked. Big time. Nurse, yawn. It's been done to death.
You hardly thought you were being Ms Original did you with a nurse outfit. Wow, nobody would ever think of that one. I could just see the nightclub owner pin a gold star on you for most original outfit. Don't be so stupid woman. Have some originality will you and put some effort into it.
I am a Life Doctor but you don't see me swanning around the nightclub with my stethoscope and Life Doctor jacket on me do you? No, put some effort into it.
I think you should go as Sonya from Eastenders because like her, your an idiot and at least it will be original. Chances are, you are pretty ugly also (all ugly girls tend to dress up as nurses to compensate themselves) so the Sonya outfit will be perfect for you. Enjoy.
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Sunday 05 February 2012
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