Kenny tells troika to get on their trolley

The troika has packed their bags and left the country. And as Martin Luther King might have said: “Free at last, free at last, thank the Lord we’re free at last”.

Just two years before the 100th anniversary of the 1916 Rising it seems we might just at last be free.

So what did the Taoiseach really say at that final meeting?

The Dundalk Democrat has obtained a leaked memo from the Department of An Taoiseach and can reveal all.

Taoiseach: The resources of this little country of ours make it the richest bar none on the face of God’s earth, far and away superior to any. Sure don’t we export €10 million worth of pork every year and the same in butter and eggs, and haven’t we got your man down in Cavan growing tobacco. Where would find the like of Irish bacon and cabbage? And you want to drain all our riches with your money lending charges. And what’s this final bill about? What bill bailey is this? We have paid ye. As I said to the milk man this morning it’s seven mornings a pint at twopence is seven twos is a shilling and twopence over and these three mornings a quart at fourpence is three quarts is a shilling. That’s a shilling and one and two is two and two. I was a schoolteacher, remember.

Min. Noonan: Eh, taoiseach, taoiseach.

What?

Min. Noonan: We don’t use the imperial system anymore.

What?

The imperial monetary system. LSD. We don’t use it anymore.

What do ya mean? There’s loads of it down in Mayo. Why do you think I go down every weekend?

For the football?

Very funny. So what do we use?

Euro.

Your a what?

Euro. It’s the money we’re using now taoiseach. It’s what we owe this lot.

You must be joking? Why am I told nothing round here? Euro? I thought that was a train.