Although I only work one day a year, Christmas Eve and the hours involved bring me into the early hours of Christmas morning. But for the whole month of December I oversee a factory, where we make products, predominantly toys.

This year, I had to let a lot of my staff go due to this bloody recession and I am sick of it, especially working over Christmas.
I mean this year, the size of the orders I received from brats all across the world was ridiculous.

Do they not know we are in a recession? To make it worse, some of the gifts they left for me were horrible. I don't eat raw carrots and there is only so much milk and cookies that I can eat in one night. Not one left a turkey sandwich for me.

What do you think I should do because I am thinking of packing it in? Santa

Dear Santa, you old codger, you have some cheek writing into me I tell you. I'm still waiting on that Mr Frosty Slush Machine from the age of six, you miserable old sod. I think you are losing the run of yourself with your old age.

You're a lazy git, you only work one month a year with one hard day included and you are giving out. Such nonsense. Imagine you down on the dole line, in your big red suit, with no other job.

You wouldn't be so jolly then would you? I mean what experience do you actually have? Has anyone actually seen you do your job and what references would you have besides yourself? So how exactly would you find a new job.

I just can't see a change in career for you mate.
I think what you should do is zip that big coca cola drinking, cookie eating mouth of yours and go away and lounge for 11 months. That that is what you do anyways.

You work one month of the year and you cry about it. I'm sure you are probably on the sick on the sly as well you chancer and work at night incase the revenue offices catches you. I think you should count yourself lucky to have a job and get on with it.

Plus if you want out, I'm sure there is enough people who would jump at the chance to replace you.