They say that I stick to him like glue and am never not by his side. It is starting to get on my nerves, because in reality, they have found me out.

I love hanging around with him and when together, I just cannot bear to be separated from him. When we are in a nightclub, we go to the bar together, the toilet together and everything.

People say it is weird because we are two blokes, but girls do this all the time.
Anyways, since my other friends have starting saying this, my best mate has noticed and is starting to get unhappy about it.

Whenever he talks to a girl, I interrupt him and if the girl leaves, I tell him that I wanted her for myself so I ruined it.

However, the truth is, maybe deep down, I just don't want him to get a girlfriend so we can hang around together all the time.
Shane, 23.

Dear Shadow, I mean Shane, what on earth have you gone and done here? Sounds like a bit of bro-mance gone wild to be honest.

First of all, let's get to this toilet situation. What is going on there? Women going to the toilet together is a phenomenon that will never really be understood, but two men happily bouncing to the bogs together is something that will definitely look a bit strange.

For women, a nightclub's toilets is like a social gathering site in there, like a live facebook, full of status updates and epic banter etc.

For blokes though, it should be in and out, with no room for friendship.
If you carry this up, your friend will have words with you and soon enough, whenever he goes to the toilet, you will be sitting there shaking, sweating profusely, trying to prevent yourself from going with him. It will be a source of humour for your other mates, but not you.

You are showing the signs of an addict, addicted to this bloke's banter and God knows what else from the sounds of things.
I can see why your mate is getting unhappy about it. He probably just thought he was good craic all round, but now he probably thinks you fancy him and it has dented his confidence.

All those times you laughed at his jokes, he is now probably thinking to himself 'hold on, he was laughing because he fancies me, not because it was a funny joke.'
Also, when he is with a girl, you are shafting him and he probably thinks it is because you fancy him. You have dug yourself a hole here shadow, one that is difficult to get out of.

But the sure fire easy way to do it is to apply the same method to all your friends. Then they will see that you are just bizarre and weird to all your friends and now just this one bloke.
Also the nickname Shadow is not too bad. It's kinda catchy.